How to Commit to Change and Avoid the “New Normal” Crisis

When was the last time that you felt overwhelmed? I mean, seriously, frustratingly, almost deliriously beside yourself with anxiety over all of the 100,000 things you needed to do (and that’s just before lunch time), unending work demands, escalating family expectations, and your own intimidating personal goals? Many of us are masters at “keeping it together.” We smile, we converse and laugh, we drop the kids off at school, we grocery shop, we kiss our spouses good night, and we appear to be just fine to the untrained eye. But inside we’re really screaming “Danger Alert” every time someone gets too close to us because we feel ourselves helplessly coming apart at the seams. Sisters, the truth is that as much as we resent people treating us like Superwoman, we usually have a really hard time retiring the cape.

There are some clear signs that being too busy being busy has finally taken its toll on you and they include misplacing your cell phone in the utility drawer, losing your car keys in a basket of unfolded laundry while trying to find Junior’s other sock, or putting the remote in the refrigerator while scrambling to find something to quickly unthaw for dinner. All of these are warning signs of a dangerous condition that afflicts too many of us women…it’s called “living on autopilot”.

Yes, it’s the first month of a new year, and while there is actual excitement in beginning a new chapter in life, there can also be some trepidation. Let’s face it…the excitement you feel at the bottom of the mountain can gradually fade the higher you climb up; even if you’ve only been counting for 12 days. Especially if you’re so focused on the discomfort of the climb (aging knees, an old back injury, the weather, the change in air pressure) that you fail to celebrate that with each concentrated step of exertion you are conquering your present challenge and drawing nearer to your goal. The reality is that setting goals for the New Year is always easy part, but actually achieving those goals takes hard work, focus, and discipline. As a result, many of us who start out the year sprinting for all we’re worth, eventually end up hitch- hiking a ride on the habits of our past instead of continuing to persevere and pursue a new course.

It sounds crazy, but it’s true. According to a statistics report released in 2016 by the Statistic Brain Research Institute, 41% of Americans make a New Year’s resolution every year, but only 9.2% of Americans felt like they successfully completed their goal last year. So we have to ponder what makes us decide to pursue a better life at the start of the new year, but then go back to the same way of life that didn’t satisfy us the year before? Why would we resume the same dysfunctional relationship after it took us snotting like Oscar award-winning Viola Davis in the critically acclaimed movie “Fences” (that snot was awesomely believable by the way) and two bottles of good holy oil just to get deliverance from it in the first place? Why would we stay in a dead-end job after God has given us the innovative business plan we prayed for that depicts the blueprint for beginning to live out our purpose? Why would we settle for the same mediocre religious regime of 2016 when God is just waiting for us to embrace a vibrant, refreshing Christian experience with Him in 2017? Why indeed. Do you want to know the truth? Because it’s so much easier to say “I tried” instead of saying “I finished.” In 2 Tim. 4:7, the apostle Paul declares at the near end of his life, “I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith!” He didn’t haphazardly arrive to that moment of completion. He worked towards it, He suffered for it, and God’s grace carried him the rest of the way.

Committing to your new normal takes more than a rash decision made on New Year’s Eve during a climatic worship service or while anxiously watching the ball drop in New York City as if that moment will magically endow you with super powers in the year to come. The reality is that if you want to reach your goals this year it will take two key things 1) grit and 2) exclusivity.

Firstly, the word grit means courage, resolve, and strength of character. All three are necessary to finish your course because your enemies and your “inner-me” will not make reaching your goals this year easy. If you want it, you will have to fight for it. If you want it, you’re going to have to sweat and sacrifice for it. It takes courage to make an attempt, but it takes character to see your effort all the way through. God is using every obstacle in your life to help you identify the grit He has placed in you and to refine your character. That’s why you keep bouncing back. That’s why the stuff that you’ve lived through that would have killed someone else has motivated you instead. You already have everything you need. You just have to learn how to harness it. Don’t be afraid of the greatness in you. Embrace it and let it embrace you.

Secondly, you will need exclusivity, which in this context refers you to adopting the mindset of “the power of one.” Stop trying to take on the world, just because the world wants you to take it on. Ignore the distractions! As a follower of Christ you are supposed to be in partnership with him; not competition. He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matt. 11:28 That means that He’s the one that’s supposed to do the heavy lifting and you are supposed to do the portion that He has assigned you too. That means that you may have ten things you want to change about yourself or improve on. However, attempting all ten of those things at once is a guaranteed recipe for failure. Choose one and stick to it. Commit to changing one thing, habit, or behavior and then follow through. For example, if you want to be healthier this year don’t make a crazy list of things that you know you’re not going to do. Choose one thing that you can do like drinking 8 glasses of water a day and stick with it for the year. Before you know it, being intentional about that one thing will actually lead you to being intentional about other things. By the end of the year, you won’t just be drinking 8 glasses of water a day, but maybe you will have mastered portion control and increased your fruits and vegetables as well because one good habit will produce another. Remember, transformation is God’s business. He just needs you to be an available vessel

In conclusion, I have no doubt that 2017 will be an epic year of God’s favor being bestowed upon you and me alike and that in this year of completion you have been called to finish the race that God has set before you. But only you know really if you have what it takes to be successful in adopting your new normal this year. To be or not to be great? That is the question that only you can answer. I don’t know about you, but I choose for my new normal to be greatness. After all, if God is for me, who can be against me? Crisis averted!

Keep Moving Forward!

#confessionsofaprov31woman